Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Waterfalls and Rice Whiskey


I could hardly sleep that night. I had been eyeing the Honda Phantom in Tony's Big Bikes for days. I did a little research, which indicated that the Phantom is the perfect transition from scooters to motorcycles. Low center of gravity, only a bit more powerful than the scooters, and far more stable than the top heavy Yamahas and Suzukis. Fully manual transmission, and best of all: you look really freaking cool on top of it. Even me. Tony let me take it for a spin around the block to test it out, and I loved it (after stalling out a couple of times getting used to the clutch). Tony looked on a little nervously as we pulled away, but in reality, the bigger bikes feel better and safer than the little scooters.

I was especially happy to have an accessory to help me in my lifelong quest to look cool. The obstacles to this quest started with the drooling. More drool than any other three children in the room, I pretty much (according to my parents) was in a bib all of the time to protect my shirts. Then, just as I seemed to be ridding myself of the drooling phase, I became obsessed with Peter Pan in particular and green tights in general. It's hard to look cool in green tights. Then between bedwetting (prohibiting me from sleeping over at anyone's house until age 9 or so) and the clothes I wore (hello, TJ Maxx!) things did not improve very much. My mom cut my hair throughout middle school (and didn't have much to work with). I went through an awful "if I put enough of this women's hair product in my hair it won't stick up but it looks wet all the time" phase. Huge gap between my very large front teeth. The astoundingly large noggin. It's very hard for me to look cool. That's where I thought the motorcycle would be useful. Unfortunately, I failed to remember that I would need a helmet. This is a bad thing for two main reasons. One, anything making my head look even bigger than it already is should be kept far away from me. It borders on cruelty to make this melon look any more massive. Second, due to its titanic size, my choices when selecting a helmet are very limited. Meaning, I pretty much have to take the largest helmet the shop offers. Inevitably, everyone in the store laughs as I make my way down the row of helmets, trying to jam each one over my gigantic dome, generally unable to do it. Just like our trip to a Colorado dude ranch with Ma Tante. Rob and Drew with their normal sized heads, happily trying on all of the cowboy hats, able to pick the one they liked the best. We had to go to a big and tall store for mine. And at 11, I was neither big nor tall. So I always end up with the biggest helmet in the store, and it always looks ridiculous. My aspirations of cool thwarted again.

So with helmet attached, we set out to ride the Samoeng loop, a 130 kilometer trek along the mountain roads west of Chiang Mai. Samoeng marks the farthest point of the loop, a quiet but friendly village that sees few tourists. We had a glorious ride that day, the road was winding but wider than the little roads up Doi Suthep, and the seats on our Phantom proved far more comfortable than the narrower varieties on the scooters. The road lazily rolled over hills, through forests, and along breathtaking mountain peaks. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, like blasting down beautiful mountain roads on a motorcycle with the sun shining down. Don't be surprised when Rebecca and I are sporting leather Hell's Angels jackets when we return. I hear Ashe County is a hell of a place to ride a bike. We stopped several times, we had a nice lunch at a little roadside stand in Samoeng. The villagers reacted with great curiosity when we rolled into town, clearly not accustomed to seeing two grinning, white, helmeted faces standing out in their little town. We also stopped at an Eden-like Bed and Breakfast place on the way back that Reba assured me her mother would love. It was closed for the off-season, but the plants were pretty amazing. We found a lake on the way back that had a restaurant by the water. The "tables" were actually bamboo huts out in the water requiring a short trip over a bridge to reach. Pretty freaking cool, having a beer while the sun goes down, sitting in a bamboo hut in the lake. We love Thailand. Love it.
























That night we happened across Carolyn and Matthew, a couple with North Carolina roots that I had met on the train a few days earlier. We spent a nice evening drinking beer and eating with their family. They are in Thailand to find a material to more efficiently manufacture their brainchild, a toilet training device for young children. It sounded very interesting, and, seeing as how they have four, we figured they knew what they were doing. Necessity is the mother of invention and all that. We had a blast with them, and hope they are doing well.






The next day, we went to meet Noi. Noi is from Thailand, and made friends with Lillie when she was here. She was a devoted and daily visitor to Lillie when my sister was stuck in the Chiang Mai hospital for a week while her eye recovered from the infection. They have kept in contact, and we were excited to meet Noi, who we heard many wonderful things about from Lillie. We motored over to Bo Sang, a little town about 10 kilometers east of Chiang Mai. Bo Sang is famous for umbrella making, and now is home to Noi's brand new coffee shop, "Coffee Time." We had a wonderful cup of coffee, and planned out a trek to Doi Inthanon, the highest peak in Thailand, leaving the next morning. We would spend two days and one night with Noi up in the mountains, and had no idea what to expect. It would prove to be an amazing experience, great beyond our wildest dreams, and a definite standout of the entire trip.

The large van picked us up at 9:00 the next morning. We met Lars and Iki on the drive up, two wonderful Dutch guys who were coming on the trek with us (though they felt a little rough that morning). We really had no idea what to expect. Treks in Thailand are very popular, and usually involve several days of hiking, camping, boating, elephants or some other combination of activities. Lars and Iki also had no idea what we had in store, but we were in the van and headed to the hills, nonetheless. We stopped at a market on the way up, which was good for us. Noi was able to point out and explain many of the food items that we had been seeing over the past few weeks.

"These are quail eggs. That is liver, that is spleen. Those are the feet of ducks. That is the head of a pig."

You get the picture. We also tried some kind of egg (Reba and I are still debating what it was) that was gelatinous on the inside but surprisingly delicious. We would later use all of the ingredients we bought in the market to help prepare lunch for ourselves a few hours later. When we reached a little village near Doi Inthanon, Noi told us we had arrived. We climbed out of the van and surveyed the small village, farmlands, and bamboo hut where we would be sleeping on bamboo mats stretched across the floor. Our guide for the weekend, along with Noi, was Charlie, who owned the home and farmed the land. Charlie is awesome, and we had a blast with him and his wife Bussi, who opened their home (and many, many bottles of rice whiskey) to the 5 of us very graciously. As soon as we arrived Charlie grabbed a basket and machete and we followed him to the terraced farms stretching up the hillside. We walked slowly through the fields, admiring the beauty of the place and picking vegetables along the way. Rebecca quickly grabbed the basket and machete and took over the chore from Charlie. I think we have farming in our future. My wife does have a way with the plants.






Thai umbrellas
After about an hour of walking and gathering, we set out for the house to cook lunch, tiptoeing through the rice paddies along the way. Charlie did everything so effortlessly. He walked through the farm, picking up this, smelling that. Knocking fruit out of the top of a tree with a long bamboo pole. Snapping off banana leaves for us to use as umbrellas on the way back. Charlie is awesome. We had green papaya salad, rice, and stew, all of which we helped prepare, and all of which was delicious. Charlie broke out the first (but certainly not the last) bottle of rice whiskey for the day. We thoroughly enjoyed the meal, though it reiterated the fact that I am very, very bad at sitting/squatting on the floor comfortably. The ease in which Charlie and Noi squatted on the floor, balancing themselves and appearing comfortable, was astounding. It was similar to the way Charlie walked through the fields: easily, fluidly, and gracefully. They laughed at me and Lars, as we both continuously shifted our long, lanky, and very non-flexible limbs in various positions, trying in vain to find comfort. Though rice whiskey does help.



Note Rebecca's hole in the floor



That afternoon, we were dropped off in the woods and made our way to one of the glorious waterfalls surrounding Doi Inthanon. A far cry from the "waterfalls" we had seen down south (don't get me wrong, the islands are stunning- as I've described, the jungle, mountains and cliffs are gorgeous- the waterfalls, not so much). On our way down the little winding path to the top of the waterfall, we met a group of three western girls and one local guide. The girls, wet and looking quite put out, were huffing their way back up the hill. Charlie spoke briefly to the local, laughed, and we continued down the path. Later, we would find out that the local did not feel safe taking the girls down the trail to the bottom of the falls because of downed bridges and a high water level.  So they had turned back up.  Charlie, as we would soon find out, was not in the least bit worried about downed bridges, water level, shuffling along wet, mossy rocks, or any other seemingly dangerous activity that seemed less so when following the sure-footed and thoroughly awesome Charlie.  Later around dinner, he would tell us, somewhat dismissively, that the guide didn't know what to do because he was from Chiang Mai.

Charlie knew what to do.  The four of us, Charlie, and his 9? year old son Vico soon found ourselves at the top of a beautiful, powerful waterfall the likes of which I have seldom seen.  It was breathtaking, and so much water thundered through the valley that one had to shout in order to be heard.  The trail down to the bottom was precariously fantastic.  We lowered ourselves down rocks, we climbed down a makeshift bamboo ladder.  We traversed bridges formed by lashing bamboo together; bridges that looked like they may or may not hold up under the weight (remarkably strong, that bamboo.  Note the floors in the cabin are all made of bamboo that has been flattened, looking like it will break through at any minute, but almost always holding up.  At lunch Rebecca found out the hard way that the bamboo right by the sink that is somewhat rotted may give way if a foot hits it from the wrong angle).  We did, indeed, reach a point where the bridge had collapsed.  Charlie braced himself in the rushing waters and helped us across one by one.  Vico practically skipped down the trail the whole way, needing less time or guidance than anyone else.  After two stops in the midst of the rushing water, we popped out of the woods and into the rice paddies to wind along a meandering trail to the very bottom, where Charlie assured me (through a series of hand gestures) that I could swim.  He had told me it was dangerous up top.  It was unnecessary.  I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.








































Walking through the rice paddies with Charlie and Vico, who have obviously spent their entire lives doing it, was a humbling experience.  The paddies formed terraces across the face of the valley, and in between terraces would be a 6-10 inch wide mound of earth.  I watched with admiration as Charlie and Vico would walk quickly along the tops of the paddies, seemingly never looking down, feet slightly turned outwards for balance.  The rest of us slowly tiptoed our way across, just trying not to fall the 5 feet or so into the wet muck of the paddy below.  That valley was so beautiful.  We could not see another living soul, and we silently strolled single file through the paddies, listening to the breeze, enjoying the sunshine, and soaking in the scenery. 

Vico!!




 When we reached the bottom of the set of falls, Charlie turned to me, smiled, and said:

"Now you swim.  It's not dangerous."

We immediately jumped in, and Lars and I tried to swim right up to the base of the falls (colossal fail).  The water was quite cold, but it felt great after our hike.  We propped ourselves up as close to the falls as we could, letting the waters rush by us, feeling the strength of the Thai wet season unleashed.  Feeling the lifeblood of the little villages, the rice paddies, and northern Thailand in general: the great rains that sustain the people throughout the dry months, rushing all around us.



 We left and made the short hike down to the bottom, and jumped back in the van.  It was time to go and cook dinner. 

Rebecca and I were thrilled about getting the opportunity to cook a little.  Not only do we miss having a kitchen (which we haven't had since we have left), but we wanted to learn more about cooking Thai food and had already contemplated joining one of the very popular Thai cooking courses in Chiang Mai.  We received a much better one from Noi that night.  We all pitched in, cutting up vegetables, cleaning fish, drinking rice whiskey, doing the dishes, drinking more rice whiskey (that Charlie made himself, of course).  I, armed with mortar and pestle, spent the majority of the time making a mash to go into the stew: lime, garlic, onion, dried shrimp, chilies, lemongrass, and probably some other things I'm not remembering.  Every time I would turn to Noi and ask if it was crushed enough, she would tell me no.  Then, as soon as she was ready for whatever I was working at the time, the mash was suddenly perfect. 

"Oh, that looks great Michael.  Hand it over."

We had a wonderful dinner: fish stew (the head WAS really good), rice, a salad of a dozen different vegetables (most of which I had never seen before), and a tofu/tomato based "spaghetti sauce" that seemed to be Noi's special creation.  All washed down with Charlie's rice whiskey.  The best part, everything except the fish and the tofu came from the farm, and most of it we had picked ourselves that day.  It's a wonderful feeling, realizing that life can be simplified like that and still be so wonderful.  Sitting on a floor made of bamboo, cooking on an open fire in the middle of the hut, eating a feast of foods that we picked ourselves, sharing homemade rice whiskey and toasting the Gods of Northern Thailand.  All in an open hut with a clear moon, a cool breeze, and a sky full of stars. It was, quite simply, one of the best nights of our entire trip.  The company was spectacular (by the way, the Dutch people are awesome.  We have not met one Dutch person on this trip that we haven't loved.  Just saying.), the food was great, the drinks were great, and we had that satisfied feel you get after a day of hiking and gathering.

















That night, we stayed up way too late and drank way too much rice whiskey.  Hey, it happens.  We had a blast, we all exchanged our boring pharang clothing for the beautiful and comfortable garments made by Bussi.  Charlie gave us a lesson in making whiskey from rice.  We drank, we sang, we laughed, and we wore skirts.  We learned that, while somewhat quiet in the daytime, Lars is an animal when the sun goes down and the whiskey comes out.  Just another night in the hills.  At the end of the night, we climbed up into our hut, and spread out on the bamboo floor.  We hadn't known what to expect from our trek, but the experience blew us away.  Hiking, homestay, and cooking class rolled into a glorious day in the hills of northern Thailand.




And we had more to come...
















Fermenting rice whiskey

The headlamp: my donation for rice whiskey




P.S.:  Sorry about the inactivity lately.  We have been having major computer issues (hard drive), which is frustrating, to say the least.  When we reach Cleveland this weekend, we are going to buy one of the netbook/mini-laptops for South America.  Anyone have any suggestions?  (looking at you, big man).

Hope all is well, much love.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Going Up North

The concierge from Master Car Rental drove us to the train station as fast as I have ever been in a car. He seemed completely in control, but hugged the outside lane and covered the 10 kilometers in about four and a half minutes. Because of the royalty (from what we could gather, a princess) paying a visit, the road between the airport and the train station was manned by Royal Thai Police at every corner, on either side of the road. We saw several dozen on our short drive. Fortunately, none noticed the Ford Sedan hurtling through Surat Thani at outrageous speeds.

We arrived at the train station a little shaken (and confused) by the speed of our driver but no worse for the wear. We still couldn't decide whether he thought we were going to miss the train (we had plenty of time) or if he was determined not to miss the arrival of the princess. We assumed the latter. We entered the train station, looking forward to our first train ride of the trip, always a slightly roomier and more comfortable ride than the buses.

"Rebecca, lets just get on the train, have a beer, and relax. It should be a nice train ride up," I said, as I approached the window to get two tickets. "Two tickets to Bangkok, please, on the 10:30 train."

"The train is full."

I looked at Rebecca, confused. It almost sounded like he said the train was full.

"I'm sorry?"

"Full train."

Confused, I turned back to face this awful man telling me of the full train.

"The train is full? The whole train is full?"

He confirmed. We stood, blown away. I didn't even know trains got full, but here was this exceedingly friendly man, telling us that, yes, trains do fill up. Every car. Every single seat. And because the train ride to Bangkok was almost a full 10 hours, the next train was an overnight route leaving in the evening, 6 or 7 hours later. We briefly considered hopping the train, and nestling up to some hay bales in the cargo section. I assumed if we did, we would certainly have the time of our lives drinking whiskey with meandering hobo intellectuals, some young Thai Jack Kerouac cavorting from town to town on trains, unseen and unpaid. It would be great. Then I thought of our two smaller backpacks and our two large, wheeled backpacks. I'm pretty sure we don't travel as light as the beatniks did. But we do have shampoo, facewash, half of a library, two masks and snorkels, extra shoes, headphones, computer, pillows, sheets, towels and all of our clothes. You know, just in case.

We stood in the station for a few moments, feeling good and sorry for ourselves, when a taxi driver who had overheard our problems sauntered up.

"A bus leaves in one hour for Bangkok, I can take you there now."

So our options were:

1. Wait in the train station for six and a half hours for the next train, putting us in Chiang Mai at 9:00 p.m. the next night.

2. Go get on a bus. Which, depending on the vehicle and driver, range in quality/comfort from "not bad" to "pretty terrible" to "white knuckled, bouncing, hot, malodorous death-traps."

An hour later, we boarded the bus for Bangkok. To be quite honest, I don't remember anything about the ride to Bangkok, which means it must have been closer to the "not bad" variety. We have found that the trains and buses are the same way: it's luck of the draw whether you end up in one from 1965 or a new one. And, obviously, you don't find out until the ticket is purchased and you are boarding. We arrived in Bangkok in late afternoon, back at the Southern Bus Terminal where we had spent the day two weeks prior. It seemed like ages ago, until I heard the faint sound of Bingo/Old Macdonald drifting through the doorway. Terrified, we jumped in the first taxi we saw and made our way to the train station.

Trains, as I said previously, are like the buses. Some are nice and new, some, well, some are older. We boarded the train and almost immediately (Rebecca really has an eye for this stuff) my bride informed me that the train had been built in 1957, per a faded and stained silver plate on the wall. We had four options for the train ride:

1. Air conditioned bunk room (the nicest)
2. Fan bunk room
3. Air conditioned seats
4. Fan seats

We took the fan bunks, saving ourselves almost $12 in the process. Woo hoo! (Some might say it would be worth the $12 to be comfortable for the 20-odd hours we spent on the train. Not us. Hardcore). As we slid through the narrow passageways of the train cars, turning sideways to navigate the tiny openings, we sought out car 10, which we presumed to be a car containing several rooms of bunks. We were wrong. We walked into the correct car, and were hit with the unmistakable stench of backpackers. Not that we aren't backpackers, (though, we have been told that we are "flashpackers," an ambiguous term that may or may not be derogatory) but when you cram 30 backpackers in a room with all their stuff, spreading out clothes, taking off shoes, well, the odors can be strong. Some of the windows opened, some not. Some of the fans worked, some not. The car consisted of a very narrow passageway bisecting the middle of the car with rows of tops and bottom bunks on either side. It was close, cramped, hot, and smelled bad. And it was built in 1957. But hey, we saved $12.

We deposited our bags in the proper bin and made our way to the dining car, determined to avoid the close quarters of the sleeper car until the train had some air going through it. We spent the next couple of hours hanging out and drinking beer with the train employees. They showed videos from Southern Thailand, played very loud Thai music, kept cracking beers, and we all had a grand time. We stayed up late, and actually slept pretty well that night. Some of the trains may be old, but being able to get up, walk around, spread out in the dining car and avoid being crammed into a small seat for a day is very nice. It was late afternoon when our carriage puttered into Chiang Mai.

Chiang Mai is the largest city and beating heart of Northern Thailand. It's a very nice size: large enough to stay interesting but small enough to be easily navigable. A large university calls it home, and it reminds one of the front range of Colorado in its convenient location in the middle of beautiful mountain ranges. The "Old City" lies slightly west of the geographical center, and is delineated by a large moat and crumbling wall that encircle it. One must enter the old city via a bridge. Chiang Mai struck us as a wonderfully balanced city: modern with a bit of frontier town, older but with some young people, just big enough, just lively enough, very friendly. We loved it, and we're not alone. Many ex-pats call Chiang Mai home. As soon as we entered the old quarter a friendly young German happened by and saw us perusing the map.

"Are you new here, are you looking for a place to stay?" We were.

"I stay in a nice place on Soi 5. It's quiet but central."

We nodded appreciatively and headed in that direction. The "sois" in Chiang Mai are the plentiful yet narrow alleyways connecting all of the larger streets. We found a nice, reasonably priced guesthouse, and his characterization of our street proved accurate. We had an early first night, happy to be out of buses, trains, taxis and all other forms of public transport.

The next morning we rented a motorbike and headed out to explore the beautiful environs surrounding the city. The first journey was up Doi Suthep, a mountain and National Park just west of town. The very friendly folks at the British-run Tony's Big Bikes gave us a lot of great advice (and maps and wheels) to explore the area. We wound our way up the steep road, blown away by the beauty of the place. We stopped off at a beautiful viewpoint overlooking the city and eventually found ourselves in a small market area at the base of an enormous set of stairs leading to the Wat (temple) at the top of the mountain. We trudged up the stairs (complete with dragon-backs as railings) and took in the beautiful temple at the top. The temples tend to be relatively similar to one another, but beautiful nonetheless. We laughed at the tourists posing for pictures with the monks, and, as always, admired the elephant replicas. Because, without question, elephants kick ass. Walking through the temple reminded me of one shrine we passed every day while staying on Khao San Road in Bangkok. The shrine itself was common enough to the area: a post with bungalow replica attached to the top, like a birdhouse. Most Thais will put offerings on the "porch" of the miniature bungalow: bowls of rice, small cups of water or milk, whatever they are eating or drinking at the time. This particular bungalow was inhabited by the largest rat I have ever seen. The couple who ran the shop behind the restaurant would put out their offering, and moments later, the rat (seemingly yawning and stretching on the way out) would exit his little nest and begin happily munching away. Reba decided to test his resolve one day by walking right up and looking him in the eye. He looked right back, unfazed, and returned to his eating. I'm not sure who those offerings were for, but I do know that fat, happy rat was thankful.







We continued up the little mountain road after visiting the temple, stopping off for several beautiful waterfalls along the way. These were proper waterfalls, loads of water tumbling down the side of a mountain. The road was a blast to drive on, narrow and winding, good for leaning into the curves. Two small Hmong villages, separated by around 15 kilometers of gravel roads lay on the other side of the mountain, and we were determined to see them. The first village was slightly disappointing, constituting nothing more than a large, touristy market, with vendors hawking wares that I was pretty sure were coming from China. The second village, much farther away and off the beaten track, was really cool. We left the pavement behind about 10 kilometers before the village, and the road in was one lane and rocky, and wound its way along a mountain ridge and down into the village itself. Because of how narrow and winding the road was, mirrors hung on the trees at most of the turns, and signs were posted every 100 meters or so advising that:

"You please horn."

Rebecca and I spent a great deal of time dissecting this simple statement and wondering what exactly it would take to really please your horn. I'm going to stop now. This is a family blog.

No horn-pleasing around here.

Although I have been known to tickle it every now and then.

/biting my tongue, biting my tongue




Okay, that's better, we're good. We pulled into the little village and, after driving the length of it, parked the bike beside a coffee stand. We saw more farm animals than people: pot-bellied pigs, chickens, dogs, cats, ducks. After thoroughly antagonizing every last one of them (we only wanted to pet them), we sat down for a coffee. We learned that the village had long been dependent on opium production, and an initiative in the late 1980's had attempted to replace the poppy plants with coffee beans. We drank a fantastic cup of coffee, hand ground, freshly brewed and so strong the straw just about stood straight up in the cup. Coffee beans surrounded our little table, and at the risk of calling too many things "the greatest ever," that was the greatest cup of coffee I have ever drank. We polished off two cups while we watched a teenage girl across the dirt road. She sat silently in her little shop, weaving colorful threads into pillowcases, handbags, and other items. It was a wonderful moment, standing out in a trip full of wonderful moments.








Feeling dusk creeping in, we gathered ourselves and headed back down the mountain and into town. Though a relatively small city (170,000), Chiang Mai houses some hellacious traffic in the evenings. Normally, traffic is no big deal. You settle in, turn on some tunes, and take what comes. Traffic on a motorbike, however, in a city full of motorbikes, is a different animal altogether. We found out that evening. The first thing you notice is that motorbikes don't follow traffic laws of any kind. At red lights, all of the bikers veer over to the shoulder of the road and squeeze through the small space between the line of cars and the sidewalk until they reach the intersection. As soon as the light turns green (or really just before) all of the motorbikes take off like they've been shot out of a gun; dozens of helmeted, masked, fearless drivers aiming their bikes for the same narrow bottleneck of road at the opposite end of the intersection. And the masks: when we first got here, we wondered why so many people wear the flimsy cloth respirators over their faces. We know now. The fumes, dust, and grit combine to form a toxic sludge that festers in your eyes, nose and mouth for days. It's why, despite my best intentions never to do it, I've been wearing sunglasses at night while driving here. And not breathing. We have gotten pretty good at navigating traffic on the motorbikes by now though. At first glance, it seems like total chaos, but with some experience one finds a method to all of it, a code. But watch out for the trucks. Their code is: "I'm bigger than you. Get out of my way."

That night we went to the Muay Thai match. It was a lot of fun, a cultural experience to be sure, but Rebecca was not a fan of the violence. I'm not quite sure how she expects a kickboxing match to go off without some contact, but she told be a few minutes after the first match started,

"This is great, I just wish they would stop hitting each other."

"That would be called dancing."

And they do dance. They kind of hop around the ring and hold their gloved hands in front of them, rhythmically moving and shaking to the live music coming from the three man band. They move faster as the music gets faster. It was great fun, and I resisted gambling on the match like we saw several people do, taking the bait of the well-dressed men walking around holding money in the air. I'm no gambler anyway, but here's my rule: if you're in a strange country, watching a sport you have never seen, performed by fighters you have never seen or heard of, and the man taking bets is a local- it's probably not a good idea to bet on the match. That was apparently not the rule of the other travelers, who were bleeding money throughout the eight bouts. How long do you think it would take one of those men to fix a match? 3 minutes? 4 minutes? Really, people. We had a blast, though, and saw no blood and only one hard, clean punch. We were both kind of relieved.

We headed back to the room, happy and fulfilled from our day, but tired, and up past our bedtime. We needed sleep too, because tomorrow?

We're getting a real motorcycle...