Welcome to Laos

We took the “planes, trains, and automobiles” package to Laos.  You know, jump out of one vehicle, and into another.  We took a van from Pai to the border, on at 8:00 p.m., arriving in the border town of Chiang Khong at about 3:30 a.m.  Everyone on the van was then given a bed for the rest of the night, and awoken at 7:30 a.m. to go to the border.  Needless to say, Rebecca and I missed the wake-up call and almost missed the bus over to the border.  When I walked downstairs to check, our driver was starting up the engine.  Then, after processing out of Thailand, we took a rowboat across the Mekong and into Laos, where we bought our visa.  Onto the bed of another truck, on which we were driven across town and dropped off on the banks of the Mekong, where we gathered our belongings and boarded the slow boat.  The slow boat, aside from being mercifully slow and safe, was large and open, affording great views of the very scenic trip down the Mekong.  Many sat on floor-mats, we chose some converted automobile seats bolted to the wooden floor.  We would spend all day on the slow boat, stopping for the night in tiny Pak Beng, and would re-board the next day for another day on the Mekong, arriving in Luang Prabang that evening.  The trip on the slow boat was actually faster than usual, owing to the large rains swelling the river.  We were glad to be on the slow boat, and weren't too worried how long it took.

Pretty sure he didn't have an alcohol or tobacco license

Laos was a quick trip, and the part of Southeast Asia we are most guilty of glossing over.  By the time we left Thailand, we had less than two weeks to make it to Hoi An in central Vietnam to meet Dad and Lillie.  So, to qualify our description, we moved through Laos as fast as most of the younger backpackers do, which is to say, way too fast.  A communist government controls Laos, though we saw few signs of it during our time there.  It is the poorest country we visited, with the most outward signs of poverty (and discrepancy between rich and poor), though we were told by many people that the people of Laos are prosperous stood next to Cambodians.  We saw none of Northern Laos, which, like Thailand, is supposed to be beautiful, and missed Southeastern Laos, which also brings rave reviews.  The country is growing economically through the exportation of metals and electricity production for neighboring countries, and is growing exponentially as a tourist destination.  Laos opened for tourism in 1989 and has been pushing forward ever since.  Many areas could not be opened for tourists earlier than that because of the prevalence of UXO’s (unexploded ordnances) left from the Vietnam War.  Over 2 million tons of bombs were dropped on Laos between 1964 and 1973, an estimated 80 million bombs not detonating on impact, thus remaining a substantial danger to civilians.  Laos is, per capita, the most heavily bombed country in world history, and undetonated bombs are still triggered today in more remote regions.

We spent an enjoyable first day on the boat, around 7 hours in total, and arrived in Pak Beng very reasonably in the early evening (a lot better than the day before).  We found ourselves sitting beside Dan and Abby on the boat, and within minutes had befriended them and spent the rest of the day chatting about our respective travels (they had been on the van from Pai as well, but you don’t make friends on the van.  You hold on, sit still, and pray).  Dan hails from Ireland, Abby from England, and they had spent the previous two years teaching English in Saigon (nobody says Ho Chi Minh City).  They finished their program, and were spending time traveling around the continent before heading back to the west.  We hit it off wonderfully, and by the time the boat pulled into Pak Beng, felt like longtime friends.  

View from the back of the boat

 Pak Beng is a small village on the Mekong that, I would estimate, gets somewhere between 99 and 104% of annual revenue from the long line of slow boats that dock there nightly on the long float down the Mekong.  The village sits well-suited to handle the regular, if short-term, outpouring of tourists from the boats, as soon as we exited the boat dozens of townspeople converged to offer whatever they had to sell: representatives from hotels, restaurants, people selling food, drinks, clothing, drugs, knick-knacks, sunglasses, butchered meat: I felt like I was back on Deer Creek lot all over again, minus the cornfields.  The four of us made our way to the hotel, and had a beer on the deck of the hotel with a beautiful view over the Mekong, still lovely after 8 hours on the slow boat.  After a hell of a good Indian dinner, we retired early, still tired from the all-night van ride the night before.

Cute until she started throwing things at us

We found our way back on the boat early the next morning.  The boat ride was long, to be sure, but very relaxing and enjoyable.  The scenery was spectacular, the weather perfect, and we were motoring down one of the most famous rivers in the world, the backbone of Southeast Asia, the Mekong.  The tenth longest river in the world, the Mekong winds its’ way from the Tibetan Plateau through China, Burma, Laos, Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam before emptying into the South China Sea.  The river played a large role in Vietnam War strategy, and remains crucially important to life in the countries it flows through.  Massive and fast, cutting through large, sparsely populated mountainous regions of Laos, I spent much of the second day debating whether I could make it if I fell overboard.  I was sure I could make it to shore and out of the river, but wondered whether my scarce survival skills and endurance could lead me back to civilization.  I tried to bring this up with Rebecca and Dan and Abby, but soon realized by their blank faces that not everyone thinks like I do.

“Why would you fall overboard?”  Rebecca asked.

“I don’t know, just what if?  Do you think I could make it to Luang Prabang on my own?”

“Yes Michael.  I’m sure you could.”

We arrived in Luang Prabang in the early evening (without any swimming, hiking, or foraging for grubs), and, for perhaps the first time on our trip, ahead of schedule.  In a brilliant tactical move, Dan and I assured the girls that it would make more sense for them to find us a place to stay while we tested out BeerLao and watched the bags.  You know, seeing as how they had higher standards than we did (with lodging: obviously their standards were not as high when choosing, say, men).  They returned, a couple of beers later, with a good place to stay.  And Abby had her balcony.

Luang Prabang is a picturesque city spread on a narrow peninsula between the Nam Khan and Mekong Rivers.  The old town features well preserved colonial-style buildings, and retains a quiet, pleasant atmosphere due to the ban on trucks and buses from its’ lovely, narrow streets.  Beautiful temples are scattered throughout, and the monks that inhabit them may be seen walking the streets in their bright orange robes.  Many tourists arise early in the morning to watch the monks walk the streets at sunrise to receive alms from the townspeople.  We wondered, as we lay in bed sleeping, why alms needed to be gathered at such an unsightly hour.  The city remains a busy and important hub due to its location at the confluence of the two rivers, in addition to being situated as the geographic heart of Laos.  Luang Prabang houses a very busy nightly market in the old town, good eating options, and two waterfalls and one set of caves that haul in the most tourists.  Being fresh out of the caves in northern Thailand (and hearing that the ones outside the city were uninspiring and difficult to reach), we decided to hit one waterfall each of the next two days.  We’re going to break down Kouang Si and Tad Se waterfalls bullet-point style, you know, in case you ever end up in Luang Prabang and only have time for one.

Kouang Si Waterfall (Day 1)

Ride out/back: 8/10: 30 kilometers, took us about 45 minutes (each way) by motorbike. 

Pros: 2 cool, small villages along the way, nice straightaways, all paved, scenic overlook of city.  Saw the Laos PDR army practicing maneuvers in a field, cool bar we stopped at on way back for beer/noodles, also a litter of cute puppies at bar.

Cons: After cool bar we stopped at, it got dark, making the last 25 minutes on the motorbike a bit dodgy.  Toddler at small bar was abusing the puppies, parents just laughed, Abby and Rebecca horrified.  The moment I first saw Laos PDR army I almost wrecked the bike, thinking they were after us.  

Surroundings of waterfall: 7/10

Pros: Asian Black Bear rescue center: large enclosure of a couple dozen black bears, all swinging in hammocks, climbing on various wooden structures, being kept away from poachers.
Cons: Rebecca and Abby didn’t like to see the bears in cages.  We tried to convince them it was better than being poached.  Plus, we saw a spider eat a butterfly, which Rebecca did not like (it was a bad day for animals.  Two different children abusing puppies through the practice of various illegal wrestling moves, the bears, the butterfly, and a kitten in the city that I tried and failed to convince Rebecca was only taking a long nap.  Catnap?  And being still.  And holding her breath).

Waterfall:

Ropeswing: 10/10: great lift, great length, great launchpad, great landing spot, I have nothing bad to say about this ropeswing          

Cliff: 7/10: kind of difficult to walk out to, not very high, hard to get push, but: awesome landing in the churning water

Scenery: 8.5/10: very good scenery, not quite up to Tad Sae standards, but gets a point for lack of commercialism

Swimming: 8/10: kind of cold, but overall good.  Had those fish that nibble on you, didn’t have to pay for it

   Overall: 9/10 (hey, they’re my rankings.  Ropeswing is most important factor)

Rebecca is still upset.  She does like her butterflies

Sleeping, right before toddler starting tossing them around by the throats

                                         

Tad Sae Waterfall: Day 2

Ride out/back: 7.5/10

Pros: nice little mini mountain pass we went over, got to take a small boat from the parking area to the waterfall area, got to take the same boat back afterwards with a group of Japanese tourists who were very nervous when we joined them that we had too many people in the boat and were visibly shaken.  Which was very entertaining.

Cons: signs hard to find, crappy gravel road the last bit of the way, paid some guy to park in an empty lot when it was arguably unnecessary, worried about getting the bikes back on time, my electric starter was broken and the bike idled too low, meaning the whole way back I had to kick-start the damn thing every time I stopped

Surroundings of waterfall: 6/10:

Pros: Elephant riding center, always a pleasure looking at elephants, MUCH bigger waterfall that you could see tumbling into the river as you rode up on the little boat

Cons: the elephants did not look very happy, slightly more commercialized feel than Kouang Si, more people, ropes course, “zip line” over the falls

Waterfall:

Ropeswing: 4/10: really just a ropeswing for the sake of having a ropeswing.  Really couldn’t do anything on it.  Plus, no self-respecting ropeswing should have a tire at the end of it.

Cliff: 6.5/10: not high, but surprisingly fun with the churning water and smooth bottom

Scenery: 10/10: gorgeous.  The thing looked man-made it was so spectacular, huge wide falls, tasteful looking bamboo/wooden bridges, perfect water color: can’t say enough about the beauty of these falls; trees throughout the rushing waters, TONS of terraced levels.  Just amazing

Swimming: 9/10: great swimming area, docked one point because the water was kind of cold, but smooth bottom and fun to try to swim up to the falls

   Overall: 8/10: sorry, I need more from the ropeswing 

If a picture exists that better sums up our relationship, show me

Partially visible: frightened Japanese tourists

 All in all, we had a lovely trip to Luang Prabang, well maintained city, good culinary options.  One night we ate at the night market: $1.25, they give you a plate, and you pile as much food as you can on it.  I’m kind of surprised they didn’t ban me and Dan after our trip through the line.  It’s amazing all the food you can balance on top of a large bed or rice and noodles.  Rebecca and I ate our first whole fish from the little daytime local lunch spot, which was, without question, the best fish I have ever eaten.  Freshwater fish cleaned and gutted, then stuffed with lemongrass and roasted over an open flame.  We left the head, however.  Also notable on that same day, Dan and I were successful in our quest to find the cheapest BeerLao in Luang Prabang.

A whole fish

The last night, after 3 days of broken promises and trampled dreams, we took Abby to get her pizza.  It was fantastic, and, we were assured, the best pizza in town.  Because anytime you can get authentic Italian pizza in Central Laos cooked by a traditional French chef, well, you just have to do it.  

Rebecca and I were also relieved that the town had an 11:30 curfew, meaning the bars close then and everyone must be in their respective guesthouse by midnight.

“Oh no,” I would say, “I really would like to stay out, but I guess we have to go back and go to bed because of the curfew.  Oh well, nothing we can do.”

First time I’ve ever appreciated having a curfew, but, as I like to say, we’re getting old (especially me).  We had a wonderful, if short, visit to Luang Prabang.  It was easy to leave though, as we convinced Dan and Abby to join us on the van south to Vang Vieng, and they would return through on their way north.  We were having such a good time with them, I’m not sure we would have left without them anyway.  And Vang Vieng, with its unapologetic hedonism, gaudy bars, neon painted uber-indulgent atmosphere, is best done in groups.  The Myrtle Beach of Laos, I quickly decided (without the Wings and Eagles).  But that’s another story for another day.

I just wonder if they have waterfalls…