Tuk Tuks and Temples

Remember when I boldly proclaimed that we were getting our travel legs back? Well, maybe a bit premature. Our travel guide warns of scams, but states that in Thailand one is more likely to get charmed out of their money rather than coerced. And Thais can be very charming.

In the late 18th century, Thai monarchs began constructing Ko Ratanakosin in the heart of Bangkok's old town. Separated from the rest of the city by a narrow, dredged canal, the area houses the Grand Palace and Wat Phrae Kaew, the most auspicious and decadent of the Buddhist temples in Bangkok. It is a sort of ground zero for Bangkok sightseeing. And sharp Thais with a mastery of the English language know this.

Rebecca and I exited off of the skytrain late morning, aiming towards the Grand Palace. A very friendly and helpful older gentleman offered to give us a ride there on a Tuk Tuk. Tuk Tuks are the ubiquitous three-wheeled motorbike taxis flooding the Bangkok thoroughfares. They are useful for short distances because they can squeeze through lanes of traffic and don't have the 35 baht flag the Taxi-Meters do. There are some drawbacks however. First, the roof of the vehicles are so low that one can see virtually nothing from the seats. What this means is that you will find yourself sliding your rear-end forward on the seat to try and see below the roof, causing your body to be at an angle both uncomfortable and ridiculous looking. If you do somehow manage to get a view out of the cab, however unlikely, what you see will invariably be terrifying. Apparently the "drivers" of these death-traps have a running contest to see who can come the closest to being broadsided by one of the many trucks careening through the Bangkok streets. Further, no corner should be taken on with anything less than full throttle, lest the other "drivers" think less of you around the evening Singha. Also, if a gap between car and truck or truck and wall looks a bit too narrow to fit through, the seasoned Tuk Tuk driver should gun the cab straight towards the opening and hope for the best. All of this is to say, the next time you find yourself calmly pulling up to a traffic light in your Subaru, neatly filing into one of the two lanes in front of the light, just let it go if that red light takes just a few seconds longer to turn green than you think it should. The alternative could be white knuckles and hasty prayers given on a three-wheeled machine with a lawn mower for an engine, low roof, no sides, no doors, no seatbelts, and an aspiring Indy driver with a death wish flying through crowded streets with no traffic laws to slow him down. That being said, I fully expect Rebecca to return in her next life as a Tuk Tuk driver.

We should have known when the older Thai gentlemen kept lowering his price. He asked if we wanted a ride to the Grand Palace on a Tuk Tuk. Finally, he got the price so low we couldn't say no. Unfortunately, he said, the Grand Palace is closed right now (he said the monks were praying and we couldn't go in yet) but he knew of another, equally beautiful temple he could take us to first, and then the Grand Palace would be open for our tour (we found out later that this was one of the most common scams in Bangkok; the Grand Palace, according to these guys, is closed so often for "monks praying" that one might as well stay home). We hesitated, but agreed, and he promptly turned us over to one of his drivers for our "tour."

We had as pleasant a ride as could be expected under the circumstances (remember the bumper cars at the fair?), our driver was very friendly and spoke a bit of English, and we were glad to finally give one of the Tuk Tuks a try after seeing them everywhere for three days. After 10 minutes, 40 close calls and 3 near heart attacks, Rebecca and I found ourselves at a lovely temple that was, from what I could deduce, a couple of kilometers north of the Grand Palace. As we started to walk into the temple grounds, feeling good about our resourcefulness and the low price we were paying, we were approached by another older gentleman who told us that it would be 80 baht for us both to "tour" the temple. My initial confusion (I'm quite sure that no one else heading into the temple that day paid this random man anything) turned quickly to understanding as I realized why we had gotten so low a fare for the ride. Whatever though, we paid and checked out the temple, which was beautiful, fully expecting to head to the Grand Palace afterwards no worse for the wear.



Needless to say, after we toured the first temple and returned to our seat on the Tuk Tuk, we were informed that the Grand Palace was still not open (monks had a few prayers left), but there was another even MORE beautiful temple that we could tour first. After some back and forth (I usually let my wife take over negotiations at this point), Rebecca convinced him that we wanted to go to the Grand Palace, and we didn't care how many monks were praying or how long they were going to go on for. He seemed to agree, but stopped twice in the space of a couple of blocks, and suddenly did not seem quite so friendly. It was then we realized that he was not going to take us to the Grand Palace. After the second stop, we told him that if he wouldn't take us, we could just get out right here. 2 minutes later, we were standing alone on a street corner in the upper reaches of Bangkok, wondering if we had been just a bit too hasty to jump out, death-trap scam or not. After walking around for several blocks in the midday sun and trying to figure out where we were, we hailed a Taxi-Meter, and after settling in, the conversation went something like this:

Rebecca: "Wow, these things are air conditioned."
Michael: "And they have walls."
Rebecca: "I'm pretty sure he's taking us where we asked him to take us."
Michael: "I'm reasonably certain I will live to take another taxi."

And that is how we materialized at the Grand Palace in the early afternoon. We must have arrived at a good time, because it wasn't closed after all! The monks must have finished praying just before we showed up. The place was amazing, probably a half-dozen small temples encircling the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, where, after everyone taking off their shoes before entering, Rebecca questioned the foot hygiene of our fellow sightseers. On the other side of the grounds, the Grand Palace stood, which looked nice from the outside, but we were unable to get too close to. All in all though, a successful day. We were even able to get in wearing our own clothes, a modest success considering all shoulders must be covered and men may not wear shorts (quite sensibly, men may not expose their legs but women can). This led to the delightfully entertaining sight of embarrassed and self-conscious young men everywhere wearing large, flowing Thai pajama pants with elephants or, better yet, sirongs.




















































So despite our travel chops taking longer to return than we would like, we had a wonderful day in Bangkok. We saw the Grand Palace, the most beautiful of temples we had seen, and we learned that monks do not pray as much as Tuk Tuk drivers say they do. We loved Bangkok, the crowds, the international flavor, the bustling street culture, the temples, and the street food. But we were feeling the draw of the South. We had learned a few things too: careful with the street food on your first night, watch your stops on the River taxi, and avoid the Sukhumvit area late at night. And it was in Bangkok that our lexicon accepted the wise phrase: "I don't want any Tuk Tuk."

Now down to the islands...